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Jens 'n' Frens
Idle thoughts of a relatively libertarian Republican in Cambridge, MA, and whomever he invites. Mostly political.
"A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures."
-- Daniel Webster
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Tuesday, May 06, 2014 :::
The first semifinal of the Eurovision Song Contest starts in a matter of hours, with the second semifinal on Thursday and the final on Saturday. I listened to the contestents, some of them so you don't have to. These are roughly in order from my favorites to my least favorite, with a brief reaction to each song and a link to the youtube video. A lot of these could easily be switched around, but the Icelandic entry is by far the worst.
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Malta – Malta likes Mumford and Sons. So do I. This might be my favorite.
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Armenia – The oddsmakers' favorite. A well-constructed ballad.
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Sweden – I didn't care for the bent notes – or whatever the vocal music term is – but this is still a pretty song.
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Spain – Very nice ballad.
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Switzerland – Like last year, the Swiss have produced a simple, catchy, quirky, enjoyable tune that probably won't make the final despite being better than songs that will.
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Slovenia – Moving into soft rock territory. The video is slightly strange, but I like the song.
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Georgia – Reminds me of late-70's Jethro Tull or early-70's Yes. I actually liked this song, but I can fully understand someone's hating it. It's hard to place in the rankings because it's quirky. I don't think folk music fares well at Eurovision.
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Ukraine – The Ukrainians could have tried not to call attention to their geopolitical situation, but instead they entered a song called "Tick-Tock." It may have carried less of a "time is running out on our independence" connotation at the time the choice was made. It's fast-paced and not regrettable and the singer is pretty, which doesn't hurt.
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Finland – It's like emo music except that I like it. Actually, the opening reminds me of Peanuts, but telling you that before you listen to it probably just poisoned your listen. Anyway, give it a shot.
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Albania – This is different and not bad. Reminds me of something I listened to in college in the mid 90s, though I can't think of a name. Not my favorite, but give it a shot.
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Belarus – Fun, though Marc Anthony's version was better (someone in the comments says, not unreasonably, "Robin Thicke," but I think Marc Anthony is closer). Maybe a little bit of a Maroon 5 sound.
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Latvia – Sort of similar to the Swiss entry, but quirkier and simpler. My wife likes it as a kid's song.
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Italy – I think this is a harder rock sound than anyone else in the contest, which still only puts it with the likes of Roxette or No Doubt – it won't draw any comparisons to Loordi (except, I suppose, the one I just made).
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Germany – Not terribly creative. This is both a strength and a weakness.
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Romania – Kind of a power ballad. It seems like it's missing something.
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Netherlands – Think Lady Antebellum, or that sort of pop song that you hear on country radio stations these days. I wouldn't avoid this song, but I wouldn't seek it out, either.
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Montenegro – A pretty good ballad. Not among my top few choices, but probably above the median.
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San Marino – This could play over the end credits to a James Bond movie. It probably wouldn't keep me in the theater. To be fair, the movie probably wouldn't, either.
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Austria – This makes me think of James Bond (as San Marino did). I haven't decided what I think about the concept of a drag queen with facial hair.
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Ireland – Decent Europop. I can't think of anything else to say.
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Russia – Apparently, Russian alchemists have distilled the essense of the decent but unmemorable, middle-of-the-pack Eurovision song.
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Portugal – See Russia, but replace the word "decent" with "mediocre."
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Moldova – Kind of interesting in places, but not very many of them.
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Denmark – The ESL lyrics perpetuate a long-standing Eurovision tradition. Among the oddsmakers' favorites, but not among mine.
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Hungary – You can always count on Eurovision to produce light, entertaining pop songs, unlike this one about child abuse. It isn't a bad song, but it seems more out of place than, say, the French and Polish entries.
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Israel – More ESL lyrics, though not as good an example as the Danish entry. I don't really listen to Pink, but I think this is what she sounds like; if you're a fan of hers, maybe you'll like this more than I did.
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Macedonia – More on the rock end of the spectrum. Pretty forgettable.
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Belgium – Yes, he's definitely a tenor.
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Azerbaijan – I kept waiting for it to really get going. I'm still waiting.
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UK – Pointless. Pretty high in the odds I saw, probably because those odds were from English bookees.
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Norway – A minimalist ballad. If I were in a different mood when I heard it, maybe I would have found it pretty, but it just bored me.
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Lithuania – This feels more like the second draft of a Europop song than like a finished and tested Eurovision entry.
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France – What the heck was that?
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Estonia – No
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Greece – Greece used to reliably produce good candidates, but for the last few years, they have instead produced candidates like this one.
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Poland – I've never heard a Polish joke about entering a nationalistic song in an international competition, but maybe I will. I'm not sure whether the video is supposed to be sexy or whether its over-the-top sexiness is supposed to be comically ludicrous, but I don't think it works on either level. Repetitive and hostile to the concept of melody. To be clear, when I describe a song as "hostile to the concept of melody," I rarely mean it as a compliment.
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Iceland – It's okay to write a song with a message - even a banal message - but you should try to follow two rules that this Icelandic entry missed: first, deliver the message with some subtlety and, second, make the song not be utter crap.
Labels: Eurovision
::: posted by Steven at 2:37 PM
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